Sherlock Series 4 – AHHHH

If you haven’t watched the fourth series of Sherlock yet, don’t read on. I won’t go into too much detail, because I’m really just putting my helpless flailing into appropriately rambly word vomit, but you know – #spoilers and all that.



Episode 1
Didn’t like it much. Mary died. Boo-fuckin-hoo. Maybe it’s all the „internalised misogyny“ (greatest killer argument of all time), but I did not care much for that woman and I’m not sad if they actually did kill her off (I can’t even see her being really dead, this whole series has got me confused as fuck). I just couldn’t warm to the character because she never quit fit into the whole thing, nothing to do with her being a woman. All in all, the episode was too all over the shop for my liking, the case didn’t really ‚do it for me‘, as it were, and the dramatic death didn’t touch me emotionally. You cannot jump in front of a bullet that has already left the barrel. She might be a secret agent and what not, but she’s not the frickin Flash. It’s a fictional universe, I know, but I always felt like they liked to retain a certain degree of versimilitude in the show. Sooooo… It’s a no from me, boys.


No, not good.

Episode 2
Oh boy. What a change of pace from that first episode! All of the action nicely concentrated in one place, no travelling all over the fucking globe only to end up with a dead Mary. No Mary. Goody. I’m beginning to sound like I hate Mary, but I just… what was the point of her. She caused some fantastically emotionally painful situations (the wedding…) that I actually fucking LIVED for, but in the grand scheme of things… meh. Anyway – I liked the episode, it was thrilling, it was sad , it had a villain, I was in Sherlock heaven. And to end on such a momentous cliffhanger! Will John survive? We begin with a smoking barrel, we end with a smoking barrel. A fade to fucking red. BLOODSHED. BLOOD BLOOD BLOODY BLOOD.


Watch Blackadder. All the jokes, none of the pain.

Episode 3
„Hi it’s me, John, I was shot with a tranquiliser gun, still had 10 minutes left on my appointment, would you believe it? The cheek of it, anyway, let’s crack on“. Wat. I mean, they had me fooled, I completely forgot that when we left off the last time, John was about to bite the bullet. Most definitely. And, unlike certain other parties in the phandom (now that’s a Freudian slip, if I’ve ever seen one! Fandom… of course… Revealing my alliances, aren’t I), I enjoyed the ride. I was genuinely swept away by the thrill of it all. The scene with Molly nearly killed me. It was brilliantly written, acted, and tore out my heart. I’m a sucker for catharsis, in case you hadn’t noticed yet. I know, it’s terribly unfashionable and regressive, has Brecht taught me nothing, but give me wit & heartbreak and that’s me sold. But then there were those huge chunks missing, things didn’t add up. The explosion left them unscathed? And John being rescued like no big deal?


But the glossing over the gun cliffhanger is definitely what has kept me mulling it over and over in my head. As tumblr investigation has shown, John was shot with a Walther PPK, not a tranq gun. I don’t know if those can be modded to shoot projectiles other than bullets, and I know it’s fictional universe, so why ever not, but… Ugh. UGH UGH UGH. Incidentally also the same type of gun used to put a hole in Mary! Of course, I only got this obsessed after taking to tumblr, where the Johnlockers were, and still are, in uproar. As I’ve said, I actually loved the episode and I am not crying over a lack of LGBT representation (That montage? Two guys raising a baby in a flat while also working on cases together? What more do you want?), but the gun, the gun, the gun. It doesn’t add up.


So when I read the secret 4th episode theories I was sucked in immediately, if for different reasons. They’re waiting for John and Sherlock to get married (who cares, queer reading is a subversive act that needs no substantiation from the writers, if you ask me), I’m waiting for the plot holes to be filled. If those turn out to be the same thing, I won’t complain. I’m sounding awfully grand right now, when plot really isn’t my strong suit at all, because my capacity for logic is… eeehhhh. Limited. I’m not that astute at spotting inconsistencies. If I feel something truly madly deeply i(usually)dgaf if it doesn’t make sense.

Best illustration: Watched Interstellar at the cinema, I cried my eyes out, asked my bf what he thought of it afterwards, and he said „Good time travel paradox“. Wtf. Who gives a shit. I generally don’t even attempt to wrap my head around the sciency bits, because who needs them. I don’t. I need drama, I need emotion to feed on. My favourite (unauthorised) Sherlock merch is my pillow case of a crying Sherlock. I am a leech, I live on tears and tears alone.


BUT! Not with that potentially last episode of Sherlock ever. Trying to pull the wool over our eyes. I gladly took that Molly scene and feasted on it, but this time – it’s not enough.

And I’m not supporting the TJLCers who are claiming that they are only reading all the purposefully left clues – because bitch, you ain’t. Your analysis leads to interpretation. Let’s not even speak of all the wild conjectures. Writing leads to construction. Which is not a bad thing, but don’t claim absolute objectivity in the name of your very active imagination. I’m aware that all this shit might be in my head, and my head alone.

Right now I’m thinking that the gun thing might be a secret cliffhanger, if they make a fifth series, they’ll deal with it, if they don’t, most people didn’t notice, so who cares. Or they can’t solve it, it’s simply a mistake, and we’ll have to live with it. Sometimes, there is no explanation. Sometimes, there is no need for one, because it’s not real.

Anyway, here’s what has been called the unofficial theme song for all those holding out for an explanation, in the form of a 4th episode or otherwise. Possibly losing hope.

Sigh. It’s The Rapture all over again.


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