I haven’t thought this through at all. The facts are these: November has been shit. I have been neglecting the gym. Actually, that’s a euphemism, I straight up abandoned the place. Instead, I’ve been camping out in the pantry. I don’t have a pantry, but you know what I mean. Hogging the fridge. Eating my feelings like a true adult. Why can’t my coping mechanism be chewing gum? Maybe I should take up heroin. Can’t be much worse than pringles. Once you pop, you can’t stop. Too bad they’re 1000 kcals a pop. The whole can, that is. 30 grams per serving, I mean puh-lease.
Let me present you with my brilliant plan, which is based on alliteration alone: The Christmas Cut™. Cutting calories before Christmas. Basically back to basics. The original diet of them early months of glory, the early 2k15 quark and tuna orgies. Aiming for 700, 800 kcal, setting the max at 1500 for gym days.
Fare me well.
Maunz, I barely knew ya.
No, that’s all I have. Enough with the mediocre jokes. Will let you know how I get on.
Let’s get cracking then. Hm, crackers…